I am at home, waiting for Marks and Spencer to deliver a coffee table. They have helpfully phoned me to tell me what time to expect the delivery.
Phone rings: the driver tells me he will be with me in 10 minutes.
Phone rings: the driver has got to the other end of Clayton Road from Claygate and can't get through the width restrictor. He says the satnav told him to come this way. I suggest he goes back through Claygate and takes the A309 to Hook Junction.
Phone rings: driver says he got to Esher but the satnav send him back to Clayton Road and the width restrictor. I ask him if he has a map. No, he doesn't carry a map because he always follows the satnav. What happens when the satnav is wrong, I ask?
He then tells me that they will have to return the furniture to the depot in Tunbridge Wells as undeliverable, and then send it out again in a smaller van that can get through the width restrictor. I say, why not simply drive round the correct way?
I give him instructions to get to the Scilly Isles, then A309 and A243. I suggest he looks up the Marquis of Granby on the satnav to get him to the Scilly Isles.
Phone rings: Lorry is at Hook Junction - hallelujah! Where next? I direct him down the A243 to Bridge Road roundabout then back to Clayton Road.
Lorry arrives, one hour late. It is delivered in a Wincanton van, rather than a Marks and Spencer one. Apparently the M&S vans do carry satnavs designed for lorry drivers, which avoid hazards like width restrictors. Wincanton tell me that the software costs £500 so they don't bother.
I suggest they carry a road map as well as satnav.
Driver asks: where is Somerset Ave? Is it on the other side of the width restrictor? I point to it, past six houses, first right, this side of the width restrictor. As he could have seen if he had brought a map with him.